Ruined.

2012-02-15T18:02:00.001+08:00

Valentine's finally over!

For some it's a torture,

Others a great time,

Mine as usual!

Except that it was my first day at work since 2 weeks before!

SO I'm now working at MBS under housekeeping!

Had to wake up at 7.30am!

So I was super duper tired throughout the whole day.

Worked with Cassandra but we got split up. ):

Ended up working with a hopefully new friend I made!

Quite fun!

But changing bed sheets was quite tiring.

Lifting the heavy beds was no easy job.

Having to fold them a specific way at the ends and such.

Thank god my partner wasn't a full timer so he allowed me to rest for awhile occasionally.

Or else I wouldve died.

After which I went to Sakae Sushi for dinner!

SO HUNGRY I THINK I ATE LIKE 6 PLATES OF DIFFERENT KIND OF STUFF.

Salmon, Soft shelled crab sushi, prawn tempura sushi, vegetable tempura, mushroom tempura..

AND MY MANGO SORBET!

MUACKS.

It was heavenly!

So fine.

So I became a total pig.

DID I MENTION MY LEGS WERE ACHING LIKE HELL.

Thank god I'm okae now after a good night's sleep.

Or not so good since I had a very scary nightmare.

Woke up crying.

First time such a thing happened to me. ):

BYTHEWAY WITH MY CURRENT FRINGE I LOOK LIKE A TOTAL KID.

My little brother said I looked like a 14 year old! ):

See for yourself!

My hair's tied up and all messy after one whole day of work.

2012-02-15T13:28:00.001+08:00

Plan for tomorrow:

Orchard to collect pay.

If possible bring brother out for lunch.

Go buy things at eastpoint.

Yay.

Should start to earn some cash.

2012-02-11T20:21:00.001+08:00

I want to scream I want to cry and the best thing of all is that no one's there.

2012-02-05T21:12:00.001+08:00

I'm going to learn how to cook this two months!

MUST.

Or else my brain is going to rot.

Want to decorate my room too!

But I've no idea if I'm moving out soon or not.

2012-02-05T10:22:00.001+08:00

Thanks peanut. (:

You never fail to make me smile with your cheekiness and extremely vivid thoughts.

Iloveyou!

2012-02-05T10:09:00.001+08:00

My damned nice brother.

Brother: 姐姐, what do you want to have for breakfast?

Me: What do we have?

Brother: Pandan bread, yam bread, hotdog..

Me: Later, I haven't even brush my teeth yet.

Brother: Then do you want to eat the hotdog? Because if you don't want, I want to eat one more.

Me: How many did you eat?

Brother: 3..

Me: And how many is there?

Brother: 4..

Me: THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU LITTLE BRO. YOU COULD'VE LEFT ME 2 SO WE EACH GET THE SAME QUANTITY RIGHT. YOU STILL HAVE THE CHEEK TO ASK ME IF I WANT THE HOTDOG SO YOU CAN HAVE ANOTHER. NICE MOVE, NICE MOVE. Aiyah you can have the last one, I'm taking yam.

2012-02-03T18:43:00.001+08:00

I finally figured out who I am.

A Jack of all trades but a master of none.

2012-02-03T13:51:00.002+08:00

I've been trying and trying so hard to look for a job online these few days.

Most of the jobs would have the next line in their description.

Age limit: Minimum of 18 years old.

And being a November baby,

I just turned 16!

I mean true,

There are quite a few other jobs which require people that are outspoken and friendly and yadayada none of which i am.

I really need to try to change myself or else i am going to remain jobless forever.

MUST BE BRAVE.

2012-02-02T20:15:00.001+08:00

Was thinking if I should be entirely honest on my blog,

To be entirely or close to being entirely insensitive of how others would feel.

I mean it's my blog and I've been suppressing my feelings and thoughts for quite awhile already.

Suppress it any further and I might burst.

2012-02-02T17:05:00.001+08:00

So today I am going to blog about something that I'm totally NOT okae with.

A type of people that do not act their age.

If you're more mature than you really are,

By all means,

Go ahead.

It's cool.

But if you're a fucking teenager,

And not a young one at that,

Acting like you're 1 so everything goes your way is so NOT COOL.

I've had enough of this kind of people.

I'm even SICK of them.

It's disgusting,

It's revolting,

It makes me want to fucking PUKE in your damn face.

First there's him and then her and now another her whom I know that acts like that.

And you know what makes it much more irritating than it already is?

These kind of people actually get all the attention which they absolutely DO NOT deserve!

Example 1:

Guy 1: Sitting in one corner happily talking to Guy 2.

Guy 2 leaves.

IMMEDIATELY,

Guy 1: Ahh, my stomach hurts!

Everybody rushes to his aid.

Except me and my little brother who's smart enough to know he's acting.

Seriously?

WHATTHEFUCK.

Example 2:

Girl 1 climbs Bukit Timah hill.

Less than halfway, she starts crying.

Girl 1: I'm very scared I can't go down later. Wahhhhhhhhh! ( or whatever a wailing baby sounds like. )

Simultaneously,

Girl 2 makes it to at least 3/4 of the hill.

Girl 2 accidentally lost her footing and sprained her leg.

Guess what?

Everyone rushed to help Girl 1 because she's crying and Girl 2 isn't crying.

Well,

Everyone except me.

Girl 2 only had me as support because she's strong enough to put on a smile while hobbling all the way down.

SEE HOW SCREWED UP THE WORLD IS WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T ACT THEIR AGE?!

If I did what the others did,

Girl 2 would probably tumble down the hill.

For goodness gracious,

You guys can stand this kind of behaviour?

I know for sure I can't!

You all must be some kind of a godly whatever big hearted person but I'm not.

Those examples above,

Those people need to GROW UP.

And everyone else should stop giving in to these kind of people.

Give in to them just that once and you're going to be encouraging them forever.

And I'm pretty sure acting like a wailing baby isn't going to aid society much.

They need to learn to be independent,

And most importantly,

That acting like a little kid is NOT going to get you what you want.

Want others to do things your way?

Earn their respect,

And automatically people will listen to you.

And acting like a kid isn't going to help you achieve that.

If you want to act like a kid FOR FUN,

I mean who can say no to swings and slides?

Go ahead.

Be immature for a while and just go crazy.

No need to act prim and proper,

It's okae.

But use it as a tool for people to listen to you?

Fucking despicable.

2012-02-01T16:01:00.001+08:00

Single for valentine's again!

It's not like I even have FRIENDS to spend that day with now that most are in school. ):

Still haven't found the correct recipe for my Chicken Gumbo!

And what the hell is okra!

Never heard of it and googling still leave me confused.

2012-01-31T21:38:00.001+08:00

Ought to do something productive.

Shall paint nails tomorrow!

Find recipe on Chicken Gumbo!

Read some books.

Maybe cook!

2012-01-28T23:34:00.001+08:00

JOBLESS.

List to do while I am jobless:

1. Get nails painted!

2. Borrow some storybooks.

3. Watch a movie ( on my own ).

4. Treat myself to some ramen.

That's all for now.

I know I'm a total loner.

At least I'm self sufficient!

2012-01-27T21:46:00.001+08:00

I've got a pretty pretty friend,

If you get what I'm saying.

She told me this:

"All my life I am fated to meet jerks."

I'm very tempted to ask her,

Which goodlooking guy that asked you out based on your looks aren't jerks?

Just saying.

2012-01-27T19:50:00.001+08:00

Today's my last day at work!

Yay or nay?

I've no idea.

Working at the place where I worked has been quite an experience.

Imagine working at a place where singaporeans are a minority?

I'm not just talking about my colleagues,

But the customers too!

My colleagues were so different.

One's heaven while the other's earth.

( Didn't say hell because she offered me cookies - which she didnt like -twice. )

They were tasty though.

So here are a few pictures of my workplace!

Ex workplace.

Some are in the day while others are taken before the day is open!

2012-01-22T21:00:00.001+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year's eve everybody!

I spent today at my cousin's house!

It was loads of fun.

Lao-ing yusheng was the best part.

SUPER DUPER FUN.

Not many pictures because I didn't dare ask for them.

Oh well.

There are two yushengs.

One is vegetarian and the other one isn't.

My dad's side are mostly veggie lovers.

See for yourself!

The close to empty one is the vegetarian one.

Compare it to the one with smoked salmon.

2012-01-21T16:32:00.001+08:00

Realised I haven't been blogging.

Been working so much I guess.

There's so much I can blog about work but I'm too lazy to do so.

Because it's raining now!

What a good day to just rest and relax.

And not do anything else.

WHY DO I FEEL SO HUNGRY.

Pfft.

2012-01-15T20:11:00.001+08:00

I've never been entirely honest with anyone.

There's always this bit that someone doesn't know about me,

No matter how close we are.

Sometimes,

( Like now )

I want to be ENTIRELY honest with someone.

I want to not hide anymore.

To see if anyone would accept me as who I am,

When they really truly know me.

Because the real me is..

I'm no angel.

I even consider myself a stain.

Dirt.

Rubbish.

But I am trying.

I really am.

2012-01-14T20:58:00.001+08:00

Reunion dinner was awesome!

When I say awesome,

I mean not just the people but the food too!

Here are the pictures!

And we lao-ed yusheng,

Took the before and after picture.

Think my family's filled with messy eaters.

HAHA.

Didn't take many pictures because the food was so delicious I devoured them the first second they are on my plate.

Teehee.

Pictures in all kind of order because I can't arrange it on the app blogger.

2012-01-12T21:14:00.001+08:00

I'm so bored.

I want to go out at night soon.

And just drink the night away.

Enjoy the night breeze.

Sigh..

2012-01-12T19:51:00.001+08:00

Because I didn't dare to let you know I love you.

2012-01-08T17:13:00.001+08:00

Went to SP's and NP's open house yesterday!

It was quite a great experience,

I suppose.

Would be better if I wasn't sick. ):

Started out with Cassandra me and Randall.

But Randall woke up late and took the train in the wrong direction so it became just me and Cassandra.

Went to the convention centre and got to know more about the courses we were interested in.

Got on the business tour after that,

Before bumping into Justin Berlin Seryun Pengwai and another 03 girl whose name I don't know how to spell. :x

Tin Fung was their guide.

We left our tour to join the others.

Total head count: 7

Turns out that they were waiting for willianto too,

While we were waiting for Randall,

So we sat at the tables at the middle of the Media Business and another thingy school.

Before we know it,

We spotted someone with the extremely unique hairstyle,

The one and only.

And you got that right!

Petrisson.

Total head count: 8

Waiting awhile more,

Willianto and Randall finally made it!

Total head count: 10

Went round and round and round and round.

Halfway into the trip Randall Berlin Seryun and 03 girl sneaked off.

Heh.

Guess they couldn't stand our tour guide.

Oops.

After which went on for lunch at NP at their Makan Place!

Didn't eat much because of my stupid fever.

Met Desmond Marcus and another guy over there!

Total head count: 13

I KNOW.

It's like ever growing right.

What a coincidence!

Afterwhich,

I am too tired to go on talking about the tour so haha I am ending here.

***********************************************

I figured out why I used to like you already.

You were easy to flirt with.

And you got a cute smile.

But we pretty much got nothing to talk about.

********************************************

I still feel so comfortable with you.

No awkwardness whatsoever. (:

2012-01-06T19:42:00.001+08:00

Kind of just recovered from my fever.

Take a look at my pale and sickly looking face!

MY LIPS ARE LIKE SUPER WHITE.

Pfft.

2012-01-05T18:05:00.001+08:00

Now I am here to talk about last Sunday.

AKA New Year's!

Had a barbecue with my mum's side of the family.

IT WAS FUN FUN FUN.

It was also the first time I actually barbecued something for real.

Caught up with dearest cousins Bella and Aloysius!

Love them both so so much. (:

Below are pictures of my awesome tasting and looking barbecued food.

Muhahahahahaha.

2012-01-05T11:52:00.001+08:00

Part ll of last Saturday!

After outing with Fangsin,

Went out with family and grandaunt to Chinatown!

We were scouting for Chinese new tear decorations,

But didn't find much.

Decided to have dinner afterwards at this restaurant along the food street of Chinatown.

Damn is their food awesome!

Everything is SUPER NICE.

Thats all I can say.

But there's this spice which they added into my 麻辣烫,

Which translates into numbing spicy soup.

THAT SPICE TOTALLY NUMBED MY TONGUE WITH SOME SUPER WEIRD TASTE BLAURGH.

Beware the next time you see something similar to that!

( It's the black thing on the spoon )

2012-01-03T20:21:00.001+08:00

I have low blood pressure.

No wonder it feels like I am dying or something.

Just measured my blood pressure and it's damned low.

The best optimum condition is for contraction to be 120mmHg and for retraction to be 80mmHg.

My contraction's 87mmHg and my retraction's 63mmHg.

Whattheheck right.

I should really start eating more meat,

Because people with low blood pressure are generally more stupid,

Due to the fact that not enough oxygen flows into my brain.

I don't want to be stupid.

Should I eat pork tomorrow for lunch?..

2012-01-02T20:49:00.001+08:00

Oh do I have loads to blog about. :D

Last Saturday,

Or more specifically,

NEW YEAR'S EVE!

Went out with my irritating peanut girlfriend FANGSIN.

Brought her to my agency at orchard before heading down to bugis!

WE SHOPPED FOR AGES.

It was fun though.

Got myself a shirt for $10 and belt for $3 only!

(pictures below!)

Fangsin has got the same thing too,

But with a different colour!

After which I had hot and spicy noodles for lunch which cost me $5.50 and it sucked big time.

Tasteless!

After which we went down to J.CO for yoghurt.

Or rather,

I had yoghurt since Fangsin absolutely hate milk.

Over there,

We took lots of pictures!

Mostly on her camera which has been uploaded on Facebook!

Here are just a few of the pictures.

Part ll coming up,

On what I did after this outing!

We left at 4!

Oh and we both coincidentally wore striped tops!

2012-01-01T00:31:00.001+08:00

Remind me why am I crying on New Year's?

What hurts more is that you don't know I'm crying because of you.

Why am I so damn fucking emotional.

Must be my bloody period coming soon.

2011-12-31T23:39:00.001+08:00

Oh so reliable blogger,

PLEASE DONT FAIL ON ME.

I need to rant and twitter failed.

FUCK.

Seriously,

I sacrificed my new Year's eve for you when I could stay out the entire night and drink the whole night away and just party away and spend time with people who actually are fun and then you guys aren't in the mood to do anything and you guys even finished up what was meant to be for the small little teeny weeny party at night which is supposed to be now but you all partied yourself in the afternoon instead when I wasn't at home.

So did you enjoy yourself without me?

I tried so hard to be a good girl,

The girl you want me to be so I am staying at home spending the night with you and you guys promised me we would do something as a family and you tell me now that you don't want to do anything.

Argh you know what?

JUST FUCK IT.

Why am I getting pissed over nothing.

&@?!#%*

2011-12-30T22:27:00.001+08:00

Best outing ever in my opinion:

Night.

Even numbered.

Starry.

Breezy.

Hugs.

Drinks.

Games.

And not to give a damn about all the worries and troubles for the moment and just get drunk.

2011-12-30T21:56:00.001+08:00

Shall blog about something I did on tuesday.

I know that's long.

So I went to Sentosa on Tuesday!

Went on the Luge for FIVE ROUNDS with my parents and brother.

I got THREE firsts and TWO seconds!

I'm such an awesome driver right..

Dangerous too.

And on all five rounds I started off last!

So that's when you can feel the thrill of the overtaking!

Thinking about the thrill makes me high.

I'm crazy.

Okae so after that I went to this restaurant called the Penang Place Restaurant.

Their food is awesome!

It's located at One north MRT station,

So it very convenient!

Enjoy their food buffet or ala carte style.

All up to you!

It's just super duper yummy okae.

A MUST TRY.

Ofcourse,

You must first like Penang food,

AND NOT TRYING TO BE ON A DIET.

That way,

You'd get to enjoy fully the greatness of the Penang food!

Closed on sundays because the chef is a Christian.

The chef's from Penang!

No joke.

You know what?

Maybe I should open up my own food blog since I love food so much.

Haha okae here are the pictures!

(so hungry I forgot to snap alot of the food which are already in my fat tummy.)

Anyway,

The soup is THE BOMB.

THE BOMB.

2011-12-28T21:51:00.001+08:00

At my new workplace, no one my age! ):

2011-12-28T21:50:00.001+08:00

AAAAAA I FEEL SO PATHETIC AND LONELY

whatthefsjsbdiwnhell

2011-12-28T11:30:00.002+08:00

The thing about society nowadays, is that people are used instead of loved, things loved instead of used.

But come to think of it,

Ain't that the smartest way to live?

People have the ability to hurt you,

Things don't.

People have the ability to run away,

Things don't.

You can never keep a person by your side forever,

But with a thing,

You can.

Send me a sweet text;

The old me would fall for the person who sent me the text,

The new me would fall for the text.

Give me a hug,

The old me would fall for the person who hugged me,

The new me would fall for the hug.

That's the best way to live,

Ain't it?

2011-12-26T21:41:00.001+08:00

It's family before friends for me now.

Boring and less interesting but I love them so.

I can't wait to go back 2 years or just get over with this year immediately.

I don't feel good.

I feel sick.

Sick of myself even.

Think I just gained back all the weight Iost.

Life sucks. _|_

2011-12-25T14:24:00.001+08:00

And on Friday,

I WENT TO FISH AND CO!

The food there is yummy yummy,

Even I get hungry hungry,

Just thinking about the foody foody.

LOL OKAE LAME.

I ate their Grilled chicken with peri-peri sauce and it was A-AWESOME.

Their food is just

Yes,

Their food leaves me speechless!

Also a must have when you go there and have your lunch,

Order their hot chocolate fudge for dessert!

You would not regret it!

It's so fragrant!

In case some of you don't know what hot chocolate fudge is,

It's hot chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream.

Forgot to take a photo of it because I ate it the second I saw it. ):

THAT NICE.

The taste of the hot chocolate cake with chocolate sauce blended with the icy cold vanilla ice cream..

BOOMS.

I AM IN HEAVEN!

Must go!

Later in the evening,

Went out with Jeryl to orchard!

Our plan was to make cards.

He did but I didn't.

Didn't feel the mood.

But we ended up talking more than he did the cards.

Headed down to Taka for dinner after that!

It was at some Japanese restaurant which sells ramen.

(I was craving for something soupy)

Ate their shoyu ramen and it was delicious!

He treated me to dinner as a Christmas present!

THANKS BOY.

Walked around before heading home at about 10pm plus!

Took the bus back and I fell asleep on his shoulder he offered!

SO COMFY LIKE A PILLOW.

Reached home at 11!

Can't believe someone said I actually look 18!

Here's some photos of me and my brother fooling around with my iPod's camera in Fish & co. !

2011-12-25T14:07:00.001+08:00

On Thursday,

I made Tang yuan!

That's pretty much the main highlight of the day.

Heh.

Here are some photos for you to check it out!

My brother took the photos because my hands looked like that:

2011-12-25T13:49:00.001+08:00

Let's play the game called smashing your keyboard!

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Argh.

2011-12-24T19:53:00.001+08:00

Okae I don't feel good so I decided to blog about Malacca and everything I did since I came back from Malacca.

(Did I mention how it doesn't feel the least bit of Christmassy this Christmas?)

So I went to Malacca.

I stayed in their Chinatown in a hotel called Hotel Puri.

The hotel was furnished in an authentic nonya style,

With the hotel being made up of about 4 to 5 long houses combined.

The main lobby even has got REAL bird nests made by the birds near te ceiling,

So it really is kind of cool!

The location of the hotel is great to,

Since it is near Jonker Walk,

Where night markets will be held every Friday and weekends.

And let me tell you,

Their night markets are NOTHING like those pathetic night markets in Singapore!

It'd about 5x larger,

And everyone there is just so hyped up!

The road stalls set up along the night Market sells FABULOUS food.

You should really go there if possible!

Situated in Malacca's Chinatown,

There's also the tastiest chicken rice balls, nonya kueh and chendol you'd ever taste in your entire life!

So good.

Malacca's a food heaven,

If you know how to choose the right stalls.

Here are the pictures!

(Below's the biggest pineapple tart you'd ever see!)

2011-12-24T19:21:00.001+08:00

After yesterday, I miss the feeling of being attached.

All the perks I'd have.. ):

At least I wouldn't be feeling this lonely.

2011-12-22T22:20:00.001+08:00

ARGH I JUST BLOGGED ABOUT MALACCA BUT MY IPOD WENT OUT OF BATTERY AND POOF IT'S GONE. ):

2011-12-20T16:31:00.001+08:00

BACK IN SINGAPORE YAY.

2011-12-18T15:40:00.001+08:00

There's free wifi in this hotel I am at! Wooheehoo!

2011-12-17T21:55:00.001+08:00

Off to Malacca tomorrow,

Hope it will be fun!

********************************************

Today at MINDS,

This overall in charged of the kids -Rose- approached me and asked me if I was interested in being involved with the kids at MINDS.

If I was,

She'd send my name to the chairman and I'll be able to go down to MINDS every saturday,

Joining the kids in exercise and handicraft whatsoever.

Pretty tempting,

But I am afraid of long term commitments.

Because I'd most probably not be able to keep to it after school starts.

Was thinking for now,

I will visit Nicholas and keep him company whenever I can.

We'll see.

2011-12-17T13:52:00.001+08:00

Today. Was. Overwhelming.

Went to MINDS today for an event organised by West Pharmaceutical.

I was tagged to this cute little adorable boy called Nicholas.

And he's got only a few more years to live.

I didn't know that till close to the end and trust me,

I was trying very hard to control my tears.

Nicholas is anything but mentally retarded.

He's smart and loveable,

He got sent to MINDS only because MCYS (or something) couldn't find an appropriate home for him,

Putting him in MINDS.

He's wheelchair bound,

But other than that,

You'd think he is just like any other 8 year old out there.

Except that he contracted a terminal disease and his condition is deteriorating.

That few hours spent with him was more than enough to make me miss him already.

I'm praying for you, Nicholas.

To end on a lighter note,

Below are some photos on today's event. (:

And I got a cut on my leg after someone knocked into me. ):

2011-12-16T17:47:00.001+08:00

Just came back from MINDS near my school!

(no idea where it is exactly though)

Went to set up the game stall for tomorrow's event.

Excited!

Here are some photos!

The red colour ugly looking thing is mine.

HAHA.

Then the one with the cans,

You use the mega huge gun.

Cool right!

2011-12-15T21:54:00.001+08:00

I shall spare people from twitter and blog instead.

GUESS WHO DID I SPEND MY DAY WITH?

You got that right!

HOT GUYS.

Like super super hot Caucasian guys.

Been out since 9am,

Didn't come back till 9.30pm.

Shopped like crazy too.

Heres some pictures!

2011-12-14T10:50:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I really dislike how you've the power to destroy everything.

2011-12-14T09:27:00.001+08:00

Not that I've a crush now.

Just saying.

Haven't had a crush for weeks already.

It's scaring me. :O

2011-12-14T09:26:00.001+08:00

Can't you just let go already?

Its been more than a year.

Close to two years in about 3 months?

I don't get it.

What's that thing about ME that you just can't get over?

I've been a bitch to you and I am clear about that.

Why?

Why does the people that shouldn't love you, love you, while the people that don't love you are the ones you love?

2011-12-14T09:15:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OHMY AM I ONE HAPPY GIRL.

My weight FINALLY dropped below the 50kg mark!

Not much but..

It's still worth celebrating right!

I remember at the start of the year I was a freaking 54kg.

But now I am 49.9kg!

Yay!

My plan?

Decrease weight till I'm 48kg.

Then it'll be BRILLIANT.

Not too heavy and not too light.

Can't believe I was 50.5kg yesterday. :O

But I dislike how I'm losing fats at places which are okae already.

I know for sure my fat legs needs to lose loads of fats,

So do my flabby arms,

But no.

They are still the same size. ):

And all the fats that I lost makes me look like I am anorexic.

Ribcage can be seen,

Neckbones too.

Argh.

2011-12-13T22:31:00.001+08:00

Not again.

2011-12-13T21:13:00.001+08:00

I hate to admit this, but you mean to me more than I thought you would.

Bon voyage!

Hope you're alright on the plane now. (:

2011-12-13T20:11:00.001+08:00

Painted my nails today! I am a happy girl. (:

2011-12-13T18:35:00.002+08:00

Finished reading "Waiting For You".

The ending is pretty predictable but I like it like that.

Not that I like how the ending is predictable,

But I like how it has a sweet and happy ending. (:

-dreamy sigh-

I wish I had friends like the girl in the book.

Friends who live just three houses down where everyone pops by each other everytime.

And they have all the little festivals that celebrates the winter season or something.

If only I lived in storybooks.

Because there's always a resolution to every problem at the ending,

Where characters live happily ever after.

It's like when you're in a book,

You know you'd pretty much be the happiest person in the entire world by the end of the book,

Unless you're in a book talking about murders ofcourse.

Then you might get killed.

Okaebye!

2011-12-12T17:04:00.001+08:00

"When everyone expects you to be a certain way, it's really hard to escape that image. Its like once everyone decides who you are, you're locked into their version of you and that's it."

- Waiting For You

2011-12-12T17:00:00.001+08:00

If you are wondering where all my "quotes" came from, they are from the books I read!

Another reason why I love books so. :D

Decided to give credits from now onwards.

"Maybe you used to know him, but now you're like strangers. It's weird how time can change something you thought would always stay the same."

- Waiting For You ; Susane Colasanti

2011-12-11T23:36:00.001+08:00

I've kind of gotten used to not going out AKA not having a social life.

Shit.

2011-12-10T22:25:00.001+08:00

"I'm afraid one day you'd realise that I am no angel and that I am just an ordinary girl."

2011-12-10T21:48:00.001+08:00

"To love someone who doesn't love you back, while being loved by someone you don't love."

2011-12-10T21:32:00.001+08:00

I don't like how I am getting so lazy when it comes to replying smses, and I complain that I am bored.

Guess it's all the work that's sucking my soul.

2011-12-10T19:53:00.001+08:00

So I kind of worked on Friday and Saturday. (yesterday and today)

Guess it was pretty fun on Friday.

I was working for some lawyer firm's dinner and dance.

The people working with me were all friendly nice people!

Met 1.5 of a new friend.

I consider someone as my friend when we know each other's names.

Because that means that we actually talked.

But anyway,

You guys must be thinking,

Why 1.5?

The first one is this guy from China,

He is so so adorable and nice!

Although he is older than me,

He looks like a little boy.

Haha.

We actually took the same transport back,

Since he lived in Tampines.

Sat next to each other and it was cool!

Next is this bartender guy.

He knows my name but I don't know his. ):

But I guess I'd never see him again so ohwell.

Today was BORING!

Did stupid and lame stuff but I sort of made friends with some workers there.

So I am happy overall,

With the fact that I managed to make some new friends!

AND ALL THAT CASH.

2011-12-07T21:28:00.001+08:00

I really need to make myself busy.

Only when I am busy,

Will I stop thinking about all the things and everything.

I'd stop thinking about all my physical imperfections,

Like the fact that I have wavy hair which I utterly dislike and hate,

And that I don't need to think about my problems,

For that moment.

I really really miss you.

2011-12-07T18:30:00.001+08:00

" it's amazing how people can take just one small part of a person and draw massive conclusions. "

2011-12-07T18:28:00.001+08:00

"I would give a lot to see that smile again, directed at me.

It may not be much, but I'd give everything I've got."

2011-12-05T20:19:00.001+08:00

It doesn't hurt as much as it use to hurt me.

Maybe I got used to it,

Or maybe I finally could let you go.

2011-12-05T13:09:00.002+08:00

On a mission to simplify stuff.

Don't ask me why.

Which is why I did away with the parties this year.

I shortened the corner where i talk about me on my blog and pretty much everything else.

My cousin asked me casually : "What did you get for your birthday presents?"

Uhhh..

A pair of shoes?

Two bottles of nail polish.

No, I don't have a birthday cake either.

That's pretty much about it.

What a sweet 16 right?

I guess so.

I should really really start to get used to being alone and lonely.

Especially when I just lost someone who used to always be there.

Oh well!

Now its just me and myself.

I suppose that's more than enough company anyone needs.

Bye!

2011-12-05T13:04:00.002+08:00

There was a trending topic on twitter, #ButItsJustMe.

So here's something real weird about me.

I have the tendency to push people away, acting like a bitch around them when they are too nice to me.

Not always, just sometimes.

Because I think I don't deserve it and I definitely don't deserve them.

2011-12-04T22:02:00.001+08:00

To have a guy serenade me with his acoustic guitar.

2011-12-04T17:29:00.002+08:00

' "You jerk!" she yelled.

Don't you understand anything?

How can you not be here when I need you?

You're always here when I need you.'

2011-11-30T23:21:00.001+08:00

Just updated this other blog of mine, feeling way better than before. My good old friend.

Blogger saves my messed up soul.

2011-11-30T23:10:00.001+08:00

Came across someone's blog, where she states that she wants to be skinny till the point her collar bones show.

I know for sure MY collar bones are pretty obvious, but I am still fat like hell.

2011-11-30T22:10:00.001+08:00

So today's my birthday.

Hip hip hooray.

I'm supposed to be happy now that I got myself a new pair of shoes.

But that's not what I want.

At least not what I want only.

I want the old us back.

Doubt that's going to happen anytime soon.

Damn, I need a holiday to forget all this problems and maybe at the same time forget how I missed you so damned fucking much.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I cannot, I repeat, CANNOT get myself into some goddamned moodswing now.

At least not on my birthday.

Now I get it why people don't like birthdays.

Guess today's a start.

2011-11-29T11:08:00.002+08:00

For my holidays, I planned to do this:

For what I plan to do after the O's.

1. Update this blog of mine. [ done ]

2. Update this other blog of mine. ( NOT TELLING YOU THE URL )

3. SHOPPING. [ halfway through. ]

4. Paint nails.

5. Get a job. [ done. ]

6. Go overseas.

7. Tidy up my damned room. [ about one - onehundredth done ]

8. Go finish my scrapbook.

9. Catch movies.

10. OHMYGOSH YES MY GLEE! [ done ]

11. Read storybooks. [ done. ]

12. Write short stories.

13. SLEEP. [ not enough. ]

14. Complete tasks of second job.

Out of 14, I did about 7! That's like half. Not bad right? Planning to paint my nails on the 17th of Dec before going overseas, maybe scout for scrapbook materials before after coming back from overseas, and I shall look for printable photos before shopping for scrapbook materials!

Must earn at least $500 before I start scrapbooking.

2011-11-29T10:40:00.004+08:00

Day 9 - someone you wish you could meet.

Someone that's my boyfriend and my best friend at the same time.

You know how it's like,

When there are just certain stuff people of your same gender can't understand.

Either that or you just CAN'T tell them.

That's where this boyfriendbestfriend (bfbf) steps in.

Someone whom you can cuddle with and just cry your whole heart out when your entire life is screwed.

Someone whom is capable of making you feel protected and is willing to listen to you talk about what's troubling you.

It's not like girlfriends can't do that.

They sure can.

But its all a whole different matter,

A whole different kind of love.

When we grow up,

The one that would be by your side forever would not be the friends you have,

(They've got their own families to look after)

But this bfbf which you have to rely on FOREVER.

But who am I kidding?

Such a guy doesn't exists.

It's not like I believe in "till death do us part" anyway.

True that,

Things like this always seem to happen in storybooks.

But our lives aren't storybooks.

In our lives,

We've got no ""happily ever after".

2011-11-28T22:16:00.001+08:00

I need to come up with a plan for tomorrow before I do nothing tomorrow again.

1. Experiment with the theme 'vibrant colours'.

2. Complete 700- 770 of THING.

3. Look for photos to print.

4. Be psychologically prepared to start on my scrapbook soon. Whee!

5. AND CHECK OUT THAT SCRAPBOOK MATERIALS WEBSITE.

Okae, I am like SUPER excited now. Just hope this enthusiasm of mine will last long though. ):

2011-11-28T17:42:00.002+08:00

"Once a fool, always a fool.

But only if you let yourself.

Don't let him use you.

Don't let him belittle you.

Don't give too much of yourself to him.

And for God's sake, don't let him have your heart.

He is not worth it. No man is.

This is the last day you'll ever have to go there and pretend to be someone you are not.

Today is the beginning of the end."

2011-11-27T19:36:00.001+08:00

Oh yes, from now onwards, I am going to post snippets of my life on this blog which I think are simple and small.

Yet with a lot of meaning to me.

More truthful, I suppose.

2011-11-27T19:33:00.000+08:00

I went shopping today, and I picked out a plain looking shirt that costs only $15.

Me: "Ma, do you think I should get this?"

Mum: "No, it looks so plain, it doesn't stand out."

Exactly why I want it, I never stand out from the crowd.

2011-11-15T17:41:00.002+08:00

Day 8 - your favourite internet friend.

Well well well.

My favourite internet friend?

Don't exactly think I have one though.

So haha,

BYE.

I wish you will appear in my life soon.

Maybe be my friend instead of an internet friend.

Okae I am just bored.

2011-11-15T17:28:00.002+08:00

Good is never good enough.

You are my best even though it is clearly evident that I am not yours.

Sorry for being such a bitch today.

No idea what came over me,

But it just did.

Sorry for channeling all the coldness towards you at one shot.

It was an accumulation of everything.

Been holding it in for way too long.

Kind of just burst.

It's stupid and I really hate myself sometimes for being a tad too attentive to every single action of yours.

I hate myself for doing that because those are what makes me such a miserable freak.

Knowing that I don't mean to you as much as you mean to me.

Again and again I was left alone.

I tried to ignore it.

I really did.

But my heart just can't let it go,

Because you mean so so so much to me.

If it was someone else,

I wouldn't be bothered,

I wouldn't be disappointed,

I wouldn't be hurt.

Not at all.

I am feeling so miserable,

Because of me, myself and I.

Not to forget my jealousy issues.

That,

I am clear of.

I am just sorry.

But you just seem better off without me sometimes.

********************************************************************************8

To sum it all up,

I am just scared.

Scared of being alone.

The thought of being alone just freaks me out.

And I really really hate that because I fear that so damn much.

Alone when everyone around you's happily smiling and chatting?

Ouch.

At least after ranting and crying it all out,

I feel way better.

Bye.

2011-11-12T15:56:00.002+08:00

Because in just one click, you can freeze time.

Yesterday was 11/11/11.

So today's 12/11/11!

Okae,

Cut the crap.

If there should ever be a Rebecca Black moment,

That would be the one. :x

If you don't already have an idea,

My title was refering to a camera. (:

So on 11/11/11.

I had my physics MCQ and it was pretty tricky.

Walked out of the hall thinking it was okae,

But after when I compared answers?

BOOM.

So heck that.

Went out with Shuhan and Cassandra after that.

Talked and gossiped,

I love them loads. :D

Then lunched at QiJi.

Hell,

Their laksa's awesome.

Went back home after that,

Before going out for dinner. (:

Guess it took an unexpected turn.

Doubt I can forget that anytime soon.

After that,

On to meet Jeryl.

Talked to him till 12am.

Geez,

Didn't know I could talk to him for so long anyways.

But it was cool and I enjoyed myself.

So I suppose I spent 11.11 11/11/11 with quite a few nice people yesterday.

Glee-ing now!

I hope you will be safe. I really do love you. Probably not the same way as you love me though. I am sorry. I hope not to lose a friend like you. I miss you.

2011-11-09T19:24:00.004+08:00

So close yet so far, that's the ultimate killer.

BOO!

My O's is close to over!

Left with MCQ only.

So when I locked my blog I got kind of lazy,

THAT'S WHY IT'S SO DEAD.

But it's okae,

Since I am planning to unlock this blog,

Especially when the reason as to why I locked my blog shall cease to exist.

In my eyes that is.

So what was life like for me the past few..

MONTHS?!

HELL.

First of all,

My great grandma passed away. ):

The one that called everyone by my name.

The one that said my brother was my son.

The one that would hold my hand each time I visit her and say she's happy.

Yeah,

That her.

Gosh I miss her so.

Secondly,

Tell me when are the weeks and months before O's NOT hellish.

Thirdly,

Life just hasn't been so smooth you know.

Friendship problems,

Friendship problems,

AND friendship problems.

I sometimes think i am the worst friend ever.

I just..

Changed.

I don't remember myself being like this in Sec 2!

Really weird.

Fourthly,

My hair keeps dropping. ):

OH NO I THINK I AM BALDING.

***********************************************************************

OKAE!

Now,

For what I plan to do after the O's.

1. Update this blog of mine.

2. Update this other blog of mine. ( NOT TELLING YOU THE URL )

3. SHOPPING.

4. Paint nails.

5. Get a job.

6. Go overseas.

7. Tidy up my damned room.

8. Go finish my scrapbook.

9. Catch movies.

10. OHMYGOSH YES MY GLEE!

11. Read storybooks.

12. Write short stories.

13. SLEEP.

I suppose that's about it.

Unprivating my blog now since i deleted all the private posts i made.

Okaebye!

Lies.

2011-07-02T22:54:00.001+08:00

Secrets are just how you make them to be.

Great.

So now no one knows why I locked this blog right?

Amazing.

Just so I'd make myself a little less selfish.

Because after all I need a place to vent my anger,

My anger at certain people.

Yet some or ONE of them's my best friends' close friend,

So I cant possibly let them know how much I hate her right?

It feels horrible.

Downright horrible,

To not be able to tell your besties how you feel.

Or anyone else.

Well,

At least this space is all mine now! (:

J. <3

Angry.

2011-07-01T22:22:00.001+08:00

What's yours will not always be yours.

I've to thank you,

Yes,

The person that I hate the most,

Thanks for teaching me the theory above.

I've got a feeling I killed you in your previous life,

And now you're back to haunt me,

As who you are now.

An enemy that's friends,

Close friends with my best friends.

Thanks for making me feel like I dont know them at all sometimes.

And they are supposed to be my best friends.

That's how you make me feel.

I've never have had such issues until you appeared.

But you did appear anyway.

And I hate you.

Now you're playing badminton with them every week,

You like it a lot,

Don't you?

Any fucking idea how I feel?

Them having a private group with you in it.

Them going out with you WEEKLY without telling me until I saw the photos on facebook.

Them eyeing each other telling themselves to keep somethings from me.

Things regarding you.

So how do you want me to feel?

Like an outsider in my group of best friends.

Forget it.

At least I know this will end by the start of 2012.

This whole fucking tiresome thing will end.

I'll no longer have to see your fucking face,

No longer have to hear your fucking voice,

No longer have to be turned off by your fucking personality.

Now I no longer know who to turn to.

Now I sound like a overcontrolling devil that condemns you.

Fuck all the judging about me.

I cant take this shit from you anymore.

Say what you want,

I'm who I am and I'm hating you.

Dont sms me asking me if I'm fine.

Because I'm not.

Ain't I sweet dedicating a post to you?

Hope you like it.

Bitch.

P.S sorry for all the vulgarities, I know I sound seriously crude but please understand this is how I really feel. And I believe blogs are a place for me to let go and be true to my feelings, not hiding it anymore. Hope you guys would be understanding.

I'm just one miserable girl.

J.

J. <3

Oral

2011-07-01T17:55:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, its inevitable to depend on luck.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKETTY FUCKETTY FUCK.

I'M PISSED OFF TO THE MAX.

To all the triple science kiddos out there,

Stop screaming and tearing your heads out over your performance on oral.

Your topic was on something we already touched on for composition.

And your passage had ZERO difficult words.

Our's on day 2?

Translated into english:

Do you think schools play a part in nurturing good athletes?

How do you think the school should go about trying to notice such talents amongst those sea of people?

What should these athletes possess?

FUCK RIGHT.

WHAT THE HECK.

IN MY ENTIRE FOUR YEARS OF MY LIFE IN SCHOOL I'VE NEVER EVER TOUCHED ON SUCH A TOPIC.

NEVER.

Screwed la.

Maybe I might get a B4 this time round.

No,

Maybe C5.

FUCK.

I wanted to just strangle the examiner and scream in her face,

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

But I didn't do so because they were really nice. (:

But as the chinese saying goes,

Behind a smile's a hidden knife.

I just want to die.

What's worse,

THE GUY IN FRONT OF ME ACTUALLY MADE THE EXAMINERS LAUGH.

They were actually smiling like idiots when grading him.

And immediately after him there's me,

The lousy one.

Ohgosh.

I swear I HATE chinese.

To hell you go,

Son of a bitch.

I'm never,

Ever,

Touching you again,

You flithy little thing that killed my interest in you.

********************************

Peace.

Guess today's been horrible.

I was told no one did up to expectations for the emath test.

Physics was horrendous.

Oral,

Look up above and you'd see what I mean.

On the verge of breaking down.

J. <3

Shuhan.

2011-06-28T18:15:00.001+08:00

Words dont hurt, as much as the littlest actions do.

You didn't think I didn't know,

Did you?

Its so obvious.

Its evident that things weren't like the past.

But its okae.

Like I just said,

Nothing's permanent.

After I graduate,

All of these would end,

And i'd have my own new life.

Refreshed.

This blog would go down,

And I'll experiment another side of me.

Splendid.

J. <3

Blogs locked.

2011-06-28T16:24:00.001+08:00

The past does not equate to the future.

Why is everyone locking their blogs? ):

Can't view them anymore.

Argh.

Maybe I should just lock this blog too.

Then I can post all that I want with no worries that people unwanted would know.

Sound ingenious,

Doesn't it?

Yay.

How true that there is no forever.

Nothing lasts forever.

I've none.

Distancing in progress.

Let's see if anyone would realise.

J. <3

School reopening.

2011-06-26T21:55:00.001+08:00

There is no end to everything, for every end is a new beginning.

SCHOOL'S STARTING TOMORROW.

OHMYGOSH.

This is nerve wrecking.

I think I'm going to die.

Got a whole damn load of stuff undone,

No revision made,

I accomplished nothing during the holidays.

And ohwow.

I was notified just a day before that there's emath test.

WHAT THE HELL.

I'M NOT A ROBOT!

Revision doesn't take place so easily.

And there's also chinese oral on FRIDAY.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Kill me now.

Going bonkers.

Argh.

Bytheway,

Might not be blogging as frequently,

Reasons obvious.

I want to cry.

Whatever.

At least I can get rid of oral asap.

Over and done with.

*******************************

Its my brother's birthday today,

Hope you guys can wish him happy birthday!

He's been quite down today,

Thanks to some super restrictive parents.

I love you boy!

Muacks!

J. <3

P.

2011-06-23T22:25:00.001+08:00

The world doesn't change, people do.

I feel like there's something missing.

This hollow kind of feeling within me.

It hurts a lot.

I've no idea what's wrong with me,

I guess I'm jealous.

Of nothing.

Because nothing's perfect.

Okae, I'm kidding about that part.

I just..

Forget it.

Confused and all time low.

Praying this is just a moodswing kind of thing.

Doubt I'll be able sleep again tonight.

J. <3

Bbq.

2011-06-23T16:03:00.001+08:00

There's a set of answer to every question, finding the answer is an entirely different problem.

Had photography barbecue yesterday.

Let's just say its not the best barbecue ever.

Set off from home at I cant remember what time,

Supposedly meeting isabel at 5.30pm.

Called her at 5.15pm to ask her where is she.

Guess what?

She's on her bed with eyes half closed.

In the end,

Made my way there alone.

Reached there and got lost,

Thanks nadrah,

bryan and xingjie for picking me up.

( The barbecue pit was really really far. )

Was greeted with hugs from some,

Fauziah and Jolene.

Sat on the stone thingy which I learnt in geography as breakwaters.

Hah.

I can still remember something.

Talked to nadrah and fauziah about current sec4 life.

Argh,

Depressing.

Anyways,

The grey clouds started rolling in and..

You guessed it.

No prize though.

It rained!

Ran into the shelter,

It was seriously damn small,

God knows why mr hu booked a pit in the middle of no where.

So it rained for quite long.

Sick of being stuck in the shelter,

Isabel and I decided to walk in the rain. (:

The slow walk kind of thing.

It felt AMAZING,

Its been so long since I had the time to slow walk in the rain.

Had a heart to heart talk about guys,

Felt good.

So we walked and walked and walked. (:

Decided to go back to the shelter after quite a long while,

And we managed to talk to bryan,

The always busy boy.

What can you expect from isabel and bryan,

The bimbo and the close to bimbo?

( No offence so don't take it to heart, loves! )

Laughed like crazy as bryan and isabel kept getting "flashed" while I didn't.

And once again I emphasized on how smart I was. :D

Talked about all kind of random stuff,

Gossiped about certain people.

Conclusion:

The good old days. (:

I never fail to feel so comfortable around the two of them when I'm in photography department.

They never fail to make me smile too. (L)

Walked to the pit after it stopped raining.

Felt anti social so we sat at the empty pit next to us.

Talked and laughed again as usual.

Irdianty and (crap I dont know how to spell her name.)

- sorry. :x

Came to join us,

Talked about how much our current schools sucked,

And laughed again.

( honest confession:

I thought it was going to be awkward with the both of them joining in but it turned out to be not bad! )

They left with bryan and isabel and I decided to stay.

Had a heart to heart talk about family stuff.

The mood got serious,

But hey.

These are the kind of talks that bring friends closer!

Anyway,

It was close to 11,

Decided to go back.

Walked to downtown east.

( it freaking took 20min. )

Went home by car.

Reached home,

But I couldn't sleep.

I was wide awake for a very long period of time,

( went to bed at 12.30am )

But I just can't fall asleep,

Thought about a whole lot of stuff.

It was crazy.

Woke up at 10 plus with swollen eyes.

I miss you.

J.

J. <3

2011-06-21T20:51:00.003+08:00

Every moment is precious, treasure it.

I can't believe it,

My brother's turning 10 this weekend!

A little faster than I want it.

He'll no longer be that cute,

Adorable,

Cheeky brother I've known for 10 years.

Really dont want him to change,

You know.

Change into the typical uncouth,

Vulgar,

Disgusting guy teenager out there.

Although I can see him morphing into one now.

Just a few days ago he blurted the f word.

And he mentioned chiobu out of no where.

When I was p4 I've no idea those words actually exist!

Yet he's saying it like its perfectly fine.

Not a good sign.

Soon because of this,

And the typical guy's ego,

I wont be able to hug him like I can now.

Won't be able to mess his hair,

Won't be able to poke his stomach,

Won't be able to see him act cute in front of me,

Won't be able to poke his big fat cheeks,

Won't be able to do a lot of things.

I just hope he'll remember how we used to be when he grows up,

As his dearest sister,

For I am willing to risk my life for him,

And he'll be the only guy that I'll love forever.

P.S I don't mean to discriminate against the guys, so please don't take it to heart. (Unless you fall under that category, that is.)

Blog mood.

2011-06-20T16:10:00.001+08:00

You don't need to be sad to know what its like to be happy. You just do.

Currently in a "I-want-to-blog-but-i-dont-know-what-to-blog" kind of mood.

Went to sentosa today! (:

Sadly,

I didn't go to the beach or USS whatsoever,

Just had a ride on the luge and on the cable car.

More of a leisure kind of thing.

The luge was fun like always.

In case you've no idea what it is,

Its sort of like a car,

A scooter which you can sit on.

Went on the luge thrice,

And thrice I emerged first amongst my family,

Even though I started last.

More challenging that way,

You know.

Overtook everyone else and sped like crazy.

To have the wind blow while riding,

It felt relaxing.

Note to self:

I should never learn how to drive,

For the sake of other people's lives.

Given my way of reckless driving,

I would just kill myself and everyone else. :x

I should just have my boyfriend fetch me around.

(If I manage to have one in the first place. :O)

Hehe.

Talking about boyfriends,

I saw a real hot/adorable caucasian today at sentosa!

Couldn't stop staring.

His smile,

His fit body build,

His height,

His eyes,

They are all to die for.

*dreamy eyes*

Best eyecandy ever.

I want a caucasian as my boyfriend.

They exude some kind of mesmerizing aura from them,

I'm mesmerized.

Can't stop thinking about his bluish grey eyes,

(Which I stared into for about 2 seconds)

His straight row of white teeth when he smiled.

Ahh!

I'm crazy over him!

Too bad I wont be able to meet him anymore,

Unless fate permits. (:

********************************

Random story which happened when I was two.

(Thought it was real funny so here it is.)

It was during chinese new year when I was 2.

We were going visiting and everything.

Then when we were to alight to get to my relative's house,

(I don't know what I was doing since I'm only 2)

I didn't want to get out of the car.

My mum started getting a little agitated,

And out of no where I mumbled the words:

"Buey ta han."

(It means cannot tolerate.)

My parents laughed like nobody's business.

Its not like they taught me that on purpose either.

It just came out.

Moral of the story:

I guess I'm pretty smart and cheeky after all.

HAHA.

J. <3

End.

2011-06-18T23:59:00.001+08:00

There's always an end to every beginning.

I can't live without my storybooks.

I guess the reason why I like them so much,

Its because they create an alternative pathway,

Sort of an escape route away from this hectic life.

Indeed,

It won't last forever,

But just for that little period of time,

You'd truly be problem-free.

It also gives you a chance to be someone you know you'd never be,

And know how it turns out at the end,

Being the person in that book.

Its sort of a magical feeling you know.

Just,

Pretty.

Fairytales don't exist,

And I'm more than aware of that.

But it won't hurt pretending to be in one for a few moments,

Does it?

****************************

I hate tomorrow.

Wish it never and won't come.

Got to force myself to say words I don't mean.

But I can't be selfish.

Fuck.

Sometimes I wonder if you're with her due to gratitude,

And not out of love,

Because you've been such a bastard.

A very sick one at that.

J. <3

Idkwatimwriting.

2011-06-17T22:05:00.001+08:00

If we ever have something we'll never be able to fathom, it would then be feelings of the heart.

Went to study for 2 days straight so I'm happy. (:

Went to Tampines 1 yesterday and the National Library today to finish up math.

While I was at the library today,

I chanced upon a book titled 'The Little Prisoner'.

It talks about how there's this young girl,

Who's a slave to her step father in every single way.

You know what happens next.

It was a book capable of evoking emotions,

You'd feel for the girl in the book.

It was real depressing,

To know that it was based on a real story,

To know how dirty and disgusting the real world is,

To know that she ain't the only one who fell under the hands of such psychotic bastards.

Okae.

Let's talk about something else since this is getting so intense.

I kind of wish that I can be a writer next time.

Or I could open up my own small little eatery.

(Which would then be expanded it becomes huge.)

Or I could also be a human resource manager.

Opening my own eatery seems the most exciting,

And I find it the one that suits me most.

My character,

I mean.

I'm one that leads,

And I know it sounds bitchy but I like being at the top.

Making the decisions.

And I know I sound boastful after what I'm going to say next,

But I also have a business mind. (:

I'm not kidding okae!

I like decorating my stall too.

If I had one,

That is.

Opening an eatery on my own is my dream!

Next,

Why a writer?

I'm not capable enough,

But I'd love to if I could.

Because books have got this grip on me.

How you'd get hooked on to them,

This undescribable feeling,

And I think I'm not the only one out there that feels like that.

I know how its like when you finally know what happens at the end.

That sense of satisfaction.

Joy!

I know how I sound like a bookworm now.

Hehe.

But being a bookworm lets me forget about my problems,

Just for that little while.

To be in the shoes of another person,

Having another set of problems,

But you know at the end of the day they'd all resolve on their own.

If only life was like that,

A story book.

With an ending,

With a conclusion.

I JUST REALIZED THIS WHOLE POST IS FULL OF RANDOM CRAP.

Out of here.

J. <3

Randommmmmmmmmmmm

2011-06-15T09:42:00.001+08:00

Suit yourself to the environment, or make the environment suit you.

Back!

Realised with my smart phone,

I've been blogging more often than not.

(Since I can now blog without having to ask my parents for permission to use the computer. :D)

And precisely because of that,

I'm running out of ideas on what to blog.

There ARE things too private to be revealed,

Which is what my private blog is for.

And there are things I personally find is too random to be blogged about,

Which you guys might want to know about.

So let me know what you guys want me to blog,

And I'll try to see if I can accede to your request.

Formspring me!

Its the holidays so I'm bored ~~~~~

Was thinking of coming up with a list of things which I hate/detest about myself,

Along with things that I love/adore about myself.

With pictures to the thing I'm refering to,

To make it easier for you guys to visualize.

How does that sound?

(I know I don't have any readers out there so I'm really just talking to myself.

But at least it makes me feel less bored. :D)

J. <3

PRIVILEGE.

2011-06-14T22:03:00.001+08:00

There's no black or white when it comes to life, just a whole lot of gray.

I'm in love!

In love with a fictional character,

Sadly.

The guy's name is Jasper.

And he's such a charmer.

He's super sweet too.

Real witty and a total joker.

*dreamy eyes*

Here's a little scene:

"I love you," he said firmly.

Ariana blinked. There was no hemming and hawing. No "I think I'm falling for you." No "I can totally imagine myself loving you." None of those vague, hedgy things boys usually said to give themselves a safety net. This was not a statement he was going to back away from anytime soon. But that was Jasper. He knew who he was. He knew who he wanted. And the person he wanted was Ariana.

And suddenly tears sprung to Ariana's eyes. She pressed her hands into the blanket at her sides and scooted herself away from him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"You can't say that," she told him. "You don't even know me. Not really."

Without hesitation, Jasper closed the gap between them. He took both her hands in his and sat cross-legged, looking at her openly. "I can say that. Because even though I might not know every little thing about you, I know there's nothing you could ever do, nothing you could ever say, that would make me not love you."

-

Sweet right?!

I never fail to fall for sweet talking guys,

Stupid gullible me.

Like what you read above?

Go borrow Kate Brian's book then. (:

Her books are bitchy,

And mysterious.

Everything's unexpected and there's always that twist to it.

You'd want to know what happens next,

And you can't stop!

She's still writing,

And she's got like three series of her own.

First series - Private,

Second series - Privilege,

And the third which I can't remember just yet.

Whee!

I shall fall asleep dreaming about what might happen next.

Bytheway,

The book's kind of mystery mixed with romance.

Interested,

Grab a copy NOW.

(I sound like a promoter.)

J. <3

Nails.

2011-06-13T16:50:00.001+08:00

Unless you find something you're willing to die for, you'd live for nothing.

Did my nails.

Being the klutz I always am,

I had to redo it like 5 times.

Serious.

Until I gave up and there's still one destroyed thumb nail which I cant bother fixing.

Painting your nails has got loads of benefits.

It teaches you the virtue of patience,

And it also trains you to be meticulous.

Sounds awesome doesn't it?

Other than the fact that using it often might cause cancer,

Its actually the perfect thing that motivates us to takecare of our nails.

Hehe.

********************************

I haven't started on my homework yet.

Procrastinating in process.

I shall start tomorrow.

As for now,

I've got all my storybooks to read.

:D

J. <3

Headache

2011-06-12T22:18:00.001+08:00

Some people change, some people grow.

As time passes,

As a day becomes another,

I start to know more about myself,

My body that is.

No,

It is not sick.

Today I had headaches again.

Its becoming more and more of a frequent occurrence.

I'm actually kind of scared.

After having dessert for dinner,

It was cold,

I couldn't focus.

Everything was a blur,

I couldn't think properly.

It wasn't the normal kind of throbbing headache,

It was more of a 'you cant focus' kind of thing.

Its freaky.

And I hope it'll stop soon.

First allergies to seafood and nuts,

Next allergies to eggs,

Milk,

Wheat and yeast.

Now there's crazy headaches?

Two types at that.

Screw this.

I don't want to fall.

J. <3

Forever.

2011-06-11T20:54:00.002+08:00

Forever never lasts.

We all know how forever never lasts.

And promises regarding 'forever's will always be broken.

Because there ain't something called forever

Nothing lasts forever.

Yet we abuse this word so frequently,

We don't even notice it.

People come and go.

No one stays by your side forever.

That's the truth.

But should I am a teeny weeny part of your current life now,

I'll do my best to be by your side.

Like how I hope you'd be by mine too.

But these kind of things work both ways.

I don't want to constantly rely on you,

Have you listen,

But otherwise you'd bottle your everything inside.

I don't want that to happen.

Just saying.

J. <3